Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
