Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
