his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize