Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
