How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
