you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize