how can u be prego again
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
