Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
