think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
