he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize