Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
