Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize