i was born a porn star she said
please come you make the beer taste better
In America we eat man semen.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize