remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
