I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
and you fell through a lawn chair