This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.