i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
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why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
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So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.