Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?