I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.