i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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