i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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