I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
