I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
