Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
