I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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