i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
