Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
