Yo dont text me then not text me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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