Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize