did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
