Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
