Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize