i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize