if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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