Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
