Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
