I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize