Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
