I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
