you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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