I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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