That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
