people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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