Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize