I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
