Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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