I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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