so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You ate ashes out of my bong
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
