i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize