i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
