Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize