im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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