These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
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Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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