you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He uses pillows to masturbate.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize