I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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