i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
