Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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