i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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