If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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