I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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