don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
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If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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