I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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