Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
