u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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